Home of Sasquatch
I realize that Sasquatch doesn’t live in New Jersey, we have the Jersey Devil, but I figure the creatures are related. On a camping trip several years ago I spent time searching for UFO’s and other creatures, namely Bigfoot. It was a weekend spent with buddies who had nothing better to do but pontificate, exaggerate, talk movies/sports/women, and look for things. Searching for UFO’s is the easiest – lie on your back, look up, and hope if they find you, there’s no anal probing involved. I felt safe that wouldn’t happen. I believe there is intelligent life in the universe, just that not they’re looking up our backsides. (Seriously, would you travel a 1000 light years too look up someone’s ass?)
Looking for Sasquatch was another matter. Not that I expected to find him, but I was afraid that I might find his human relative – the Redneck. When I think of Sasquatch, I think of the creature as an evolutionary cousin of the redneck Homo-sapien. Somewhere, somehow, someway, there was a mating between a backwoods human and some kind of primate. Cut to the present – when I walk through the woods, searching for Bigfoot, I believe that I hear the sounds of banjoes in the background. And when I hear the banjoes, I high-tail it outta there.
At night my buddies and I did hear some screaming emanating from the woods, but we didn’t investigate. Being a coward is an important part of the male-bonding experience. While I didn’t find Sasquatch on this trip, maybe it’s time to head to Scotland for Nessie.
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